Many women over the years have asked me, “Why is my husband cheating on me?” There are countless reasons as to why your husband is cheating, none of them good enough to justify it, but I will give you the most common explanations that I have found, working in the field of infidelity for over 12 years.
By far, the first reason men give for cheating on their wives is due to a lack of sex at home. This is not to say that women do not have reason for not wanting to have sex if there is no emotional connection left. I write this because that is what I hear from my male clients. Husbands often explain to me that they feel tired of always getting rejected by their wives and they long for someone to initiate lovemaking with them. Your husband may want to feel desired by you again. Men are also interested in variety and it is a challenge to keep sex interesting over a period of many years. Men try new things with other people that they can’t necessarily dare to suggest trying at home.
Interestingly, the second most common reason men cheat on their wives is because they want to feel an emotional connection again. Sometimes when family and finances overwhelm the relationship, both the man and the woman feel lonely and taken for granted. Men often cheat on their wives in order to feel appreciated again. Infidelity often occurs when the couple to not put their relationship first.
Your husband might be cheating on you because he has a need to feel young and desired again. These are often the husbands that fall into the category of those who struggle with midlife crisis. Men discover that they have lived more years than they have to look forward to, and have a very strong need to experience new things before it’s too late. Unfortunately, sometimes a new relationship makes a man feel alive again. Before it, of course, turns into a disaster.
Your husband may be cheating on you because he accidentally fell in love with someone else. I have seen many good marriages threatened by someone falling in love with another, by mistake. Facebook, along with many other websites, are often the cause of unintended unfaithfulness.
Our species is not monogamous. That is why we can remarry after we are widowed or divorced. Stating faithful to your partner is a cognitive commitment. It takes dedication and work to remain faithful to your spouse, as well as the vows you gave to each other the day you married.
If you want to understand why your husband cheated on you, I think it is best to just ask him. Try not to get upset or angry as he will not be as forthright with you. Let him tell you why. If you accept what he has to say in an adult way, there may be a path to a reconciliation of renewed commitment, better understanding, and forgiveness.