Through infidelity counseling, you will understand that truthfulness is the only tool that re-establishes confidence and trust. Betrayal causes painful personal doubt and damaged self-esteem to the injured person. There are no bad people who reach out for help through infidelity counseling. Instead, there are only people, perhaps like you, who have made a very serious mistake and want to fix it. The last thing anyone needs is judgment and condemnation. But in order to forgive, your partner needs to understand what happened.
If you discover that their spouse has been cheating or lying, all trust immediately evaporates. Hence, this loss of trust allows your imagination to take over. If trust is not restored quickly, the crazy thoughts can take over. Infidelity counseling will restore candor and honesty to your relationship. Further, it’s accomplished in an atmosphere of safety and acceptance. Specific agreements are forged, in advance, to understand exactly what happened. Additionally, you will both learn why the poor decision was made in the first place. Those agreements are then used to determine the unique needs the injured person requires in order to feel comforted. Also created, reassurance strategies that it will never happen again. Restoring trust necessitates truthfulness and strong listening skills. The two non-negotiables create a sound, solution-focused infidelity counseling experience. Lastly, fifteen ground rules, designed by me, to encourage good listening habits, are learned and practiced, repeatedly.
Personal accountability is the single most important prerequisite in infidelity counseling. When true remorse is present and expressed, far fewer sessions are needed. Hence, true ownership shaves off the three or four sessions it might take to reach complete accountability comfortably.
In infidelity counseling, you will both learn how to apologize well, and in a style that makes the person apologizing feel greater, never smaller. Though an act of unfaithfulness is never the fault of the spouse who was betrayed, it is always a kind gesture for him or her to also learn and apologize for those things they may have done, or perhaps not done, to please their partner. I teach individuals how to express true remorse, and also how to accept an apology with grace and generosity. It is the most rewarding work I do.
In closing, I’m here to help you. Try infidelity counseling in Westport CT. Want to get started improving your listening skills?
Download my “Ground Rules to Success” and begin the process together > GROUND RULES