You probably spend a lot of time thinking about the reasons your wife won’t have sex with you. You’re frustrated. You feel unappreciated. Maybe you’re thinking you’re holding up your end of this “unspoken bargain,” (the one that’s been banging around in your head since puberty). Sure would be nice if she initiated sex every once in a while. Right? Well, there are five reasons your wife won’t have sex with you. And they all have merit. So pay attention. And before I forget, men have sex. Women make love. But I digress…

You’re not her best friend anymore

Your wife won’t have sex with you because you don’t have her back. That irritating term, “no emotional connection,” is real. So, if you want to get lucky, follow my advice. Support her in public. Let her know, and let all your mutual friends know, that she is your best friend. Defend her. Take her side. Being right will keep you lonely. Additionally, even you wouldn’t want to have sex with a person who uses you as her punch line. So be nice.

Your wife won’t have sex because you are self serving

Secondly, foreplay starts in the kitchen. And it continues in the car. Only for you does foreplay start in the bedroom. Touch her shoulder on your way past her at the dinner table, with no indication that you’re warming her up for later. Women think men always have an ulterior motive when they’re being affectionate. And they’re mostly right. Let a back rub be just a back rub. She knows what the offer of a massage really means. It’s self serving, and she is on to you. Further, she’s insulted that you think she’s that stupid. So, touch her often, just for the sake of making contact with her. In the kitchen, in the car, in the bathroom. With no indication that you hope to get lucky later. Let a back rub be just a back rub. And you might ultimately be feeling less lonely.

She’s tired of meeting everyone else’s needs

In her mind, once the kids are in bed, her day is done. Hence, the last thing she wants is you knocking on her door when she just pulled out the book she’s been trying to finish for two full months. I agree with you that your wife could schedule her restoration time at a better time of day. If you’re still reading, which you apparently are, your wife likely gives till she drops. She has nothing left to give you. I feel sorry for you that your wife has closed up shop for the day. But keep reading…

Your wife won’t have sex with you because she’s just not as sexual

There. I said it. Let the politically correct folks tell you that both genders are identical. Well, they’re not. And I am happy about that for a lot of reasons. You might agree with me here. Yet, truth is, women, as a whole, have a lower libido than men do. Plus, women are more prone to feel the need to shower, first, than men are. And I have yet to meet a woman who was entirely comfortable with the size, shape, and condition of her body.

She’s not feeling as feminine or as sensual as she used to feel

Treat her like a woman. Remember to ask her out, frequently, and consult with her for her opinions. Say thank you. Often. Compliment her shape. Women feel more sexual when they feel more feminine and attractive. In conclusion, anything you can do to lessen her load would be helpful. Helpful to her. And helpful to you. By pitching in your fair share, you will become her best friend again. You will not appear self serving. Meeting the needs of others will have been shared. And women who feel pretty like to make love. Very much.

Make an appointment so I can help you understand your wife needs. Or come in together and we can talk about how to make each other your first priority – Lisa Ryan LPC – 203-226-8800.