A young man recently wrote to me and asked me what he could do to get his wife back. “How do I get my wife to forgive me?” he asked. He was frantic, and so very sorry for the pain he had caused his wife. He was also really scared. He wanted his wife’s forgiveness so much that he was willing to do anything. After speaking with him by phone, and meeting with him, I will share a little bit of what I said to him that answered his question, and I will also try to answer the same question for you, though your story may be entirely different. Every personal story is different, and infidelity has a lot of faces. Below I will try to give the best answers I can to a very difficult dilemma.
Many men that I have treated have found themselves in this position. They are great people, men who you would never think of as players in any way. They fell in love with another woman, but they still love their wife and want to remain married. A lot of people have no pity for them at all, but I know that choosing between two people that you love is anguishing. The large majority, though they struggle daily with guilt and worry, continue to lead two lives essentially. That said, they still fret regularly over the question, “How do I get my wife to forgive me?” Read the 10 Steps To Help Your Wife Forgive You, below.
The day eventually comes when their wife has learned of their affair. Interestingly, there is a sense of immediate relief that these men describe because the lying felt so awful. But there is also an immediate sense of grief because they know that the day has come when they finally must choose. Those men who wait until they get caught usually choose their wives. Men who want to leave their wives because they are in love with another woman don’t wait; they file.
Though all women are different, of course, it has been my experience that a wife is far more likely to forgive her husband’s unfaithfulness if he is the one who tells her about it first. The reason is pretty logical. If you tell your wife before she finds out on her own, your action indicates that the relationship with the other woman is over, and that you are asking for forgiveness. Courage is usually rewarded. How Do I Get My Wife To Forgive Me? Follow my 10 steps.