There is no way to know how many couples recover completely without marriage counseling for infidelity in CT. What I can tell you is that I have had many couples who have waited a year, grew further apart, and finally made their first appointment. To be honest, couples who go without marriage counseling for infidelity for more than six months after the discovery of an affair have a tougher time of it. The resentment has settled in and it is harder to dislodge – though never impossible.

Get Help Immediately

If you have been unfaithful to your husband or partner, get to a counselor, right away, who knows how to create an environment of emotional safety. Truthfulness is the antibiotic for the bacteria that is eating away at your marriage. It is terrifying to be forthcoming with hurtful information about which you feel ashamed. And it is not helpful if your spouse yells at you after you finally found the courage to tell him everything. So get some marriage counseling for infidelity as soon as possible.

Taking Responsibility Is Not Taking the Blame

Many people who discover that their wife has been cheating on them are fearful that it was somehow their fault. I don’t believe that infidelity is ever the fault of the person who has been betrayed. Ever. What I do believe is that the marriage was less that terrific. No one is vulnerable to creating a relationship with another person if their best friend and lover was waiting at home for them. So if your wife has had a relationship with another man behind your back, you are not to blame. What I will ask is that you take responsibility, jointly, for not making the marriage better before the affair happened.

End It Now

As a team, it is important that you end the outside relationship now. There is nothing more final than a goodbye letter written by both if you, or a phone call placed with both of you on the line. Keep it civil; keep it short. Shared passwords are essential. It is the only way a spouse can have any reassurance that the affair is over. Be forthright if and when you do hear from the other person afterwards; tell your spouse immediately so you can co-decide how to handle the situation. It will go a long way to rebuild trust.

Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy

You may not think so but parts of your relationship were broken. Maybe the kids came first, or work came first. Maybe you fought about money. Maybe your sex life had fallen off substantially. Or maybe someone felt ignored or taken for granted. So many times I hear people tell me that they felt lonely in their marriage. So get help for the infidelity and get help for strengthening your marriage at the same time. Be prepared to ask and answer questions for a long time, often the same questions. Though I think details are dangerous, dodging and weaving through a difficult question is even worse. Plead the fifth until you get some marriage counseling for infidelity in CT.

Forgiving

Most people are forgiven for their painful indiscretion, though it is unlikely that the breach in trust can be forgotten. That’s okay. Throughout the lifespan of a marriage, you will both disappoint and injure each other in different ways. You will survive them because they will be insignificant when compared with the joyful sharing of children, common goals, intimacy, friendship, and everyday happiness you give each other.