Lying to your spouse causes far more damage ve than you might think. It’s not just about that one single lie anymore. The consequence of one single lie is that every other piece of truthful information that you have ever shared with your spouse then becomes suspect.
One lie spreads like a cancer through the imagination of the person to whom you have lied. Your spouse will start to question whether you love them or not because the mere fact that you said you did now lacks credibility. Your spouse could question whether you’re really working late when – guess what? – you’re really work late at work. One lie can lead to spying on cell phones and emails. And rightly so, because the person who feels deceived will now look for any reassurance or secondary proof that you are indeed being truthful.
Assume that you told your spouse you dined out with friends. Then a neighbor spotted you with people other than who you said you were with. You’ve established that whatever else you say is no longer reliable. You have ruined your credibility. Your spouse will now ask a lot of questions, making things even more complex. You are the cause of your own newly found misery – and you have all caused your spouse misery by lying.
If you want to get trust back into your relationship quickly, be truthful. Full confession. The more difficult the truth that you reveal for the very first time, the more quickly trust will be restored. Explain why you lied, with no excuses, and apologize. If you’re consistently truthful, in time, the trust will return to your relationship.
Facethe music up front. Choose honesty. Lying to your spouse erodes the trust and therefore will eat away at all that is important to you.
If you’re struggling with being honest with your spouse,
I can help you find the right words, as well as the courage. Call me at 203-226-8800.