“How can I still love my husband after what he did?” Just today I saw a woman whose husband had been unfaithful to her, and she asked me that very question. She’s known him half her life, she said, and now she feels like she’s married to a complete stranger. How difficult it is for her to look into the eyes of her husband and see an imposter, a man only posing as her husband and best friend.
He’s not an impostor. He is her husband, and he still loves her. He made an enormous mistake, and he will be feeling remorseful about how he betrayed her for the rest of his life with her. If he feels no remorse, then he’s not worthy of her love. But if he does, she can absolutely still love him.
The woman asked me if it were possible for her to love a man that she no longer trusts. I think it’s not about loving someone whom she no longer trusts at all. It’s about restoring the trust that she once had in him again so she can love him freely once more. Trust is something that’s built with one piece of truth at a time. It is so important to be very careful with truthfulness and openness until trust has been restored. And it takes a lot of courage, and an awful lot of maturity. So if this has happened to you, then yes, you can still love your husband. And trust him again in time.
The woman then asked me how she could make love to her husband again without thinking of that other woman in bed with them. She wondered if the other woman was thinner, or better in bed, or younger. She wondered if her husband was thinking about the other woman when he was making love to her. This is a deep pain that takes time to heal. And it takes time to write over old memories with new and better moments together. It takes forgiveness. And it takes a willingness to build something better and stronger than you ever had before together by talking, and by listening. So yes, you can still love your husband.
You bet you can. I see it happen every day in my own office. Try to find out why it happened, what he was thinking, and where he went so terribly wrong. Understand that it was not your fault, but that you still may have played an unknowing part in what happened. And never let false pride make you give up someone you cherish. You might never find someone like him again.
And get some help and let me help show you how….Call me.