In you want a really terrific marriage, and who doesn't, it's imperative that you both put your marriage first. That means that your relationship trumps children (most difficult to comprehend), work, friends, hobbies and your families of origin.
Save a marriage? It's like rowing a boat. It takes the work of two people, or soon you’ll find yourself just going around in circles. Marriage is a commitment made by two persons, so each of you better be willing to grab an oar. That's how you save a marriage.